I remember the first inkling that something was wrong with my marriage. It was that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was not right. Something was very wrong and my intuition was sensing that there were problems just below the surface that were yet to emerge. I experience that same feeling on a roller coaster ride as the car climbs up that first never-ending hill – up, up and up. You get this sick feeling in your gut and know that there is nowhere to go but down.
Once the break-up became inevitable, I felt I had very little control over the process. Like the roller coaster ride, I had to withstand the intense emotional highs and lows as my life began to crumble around me. My feelings were all over the place. One minute I was terrified, the next angry, the next sad and the next exhilarated. The speed of the ups and downs and their intensity were hard to bear. The fear and lack of control were overwhelming. Screaming and just trying to hang on became the task at hand. Things were scary.
Fortunately, the extremes of my emotions, like the roller coaster ride started to attenuate. The ups and downs that were so intense and rapid-fire gradually slowed down and become easier to ride out. Life became more manageable and the reality of the new norm sank in.
In fact, by the end of the ride I had realized that, although I had not chosen to take the roller coaster called divorce, I was actually beginning to enjoy it. Independence and freedom felt wonderful when I saw new possibilities start to emerge.
Looking back, I wish I would have known that the ride would settle down and things would work out one way or another. It would have made the first few jolts much less frightening.
The 5 Joys:
- You will be stronger having survived and grown from the experience.
- You get to start over with a clean slate.
- You are in control! You get to make the decisions.
- You will discover your true friends and appreciate them more than ever.
- You will find new people start entering your life, which is a wonderful gift.
If you are going through a divorce, separation or just a difficult time remember that you are not alone! If you or someone you know would like help with the ups and downs of the journey, please contact me!
I do offer a Strategy Session so please give my divorce coaching a try!
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