“A thought, even a possibility, can shatter and transform us” Fredrick Nietzsche

Where do you want to be in 5 years? What are your goals? Your thoughts can start amazing transformations!

There are three things you need to get to where you want to go.

1. Know where you are now.
2. Know where you want to go.
3. Create a map or plan that guides you in the right direction.

It really is that simple.

You control your life. Sure things definitely happen that are beyond your control but you and you alone determine how you think about them, how you choose to react and how you will proceed in the long term.

1. Where are you now?

Critically examining your life, where you are and your part in it is difficult to do. What is done is done. It is what it is. Take responsibility for yourself and step up to the plate. We all contribute in some way to a breakup. Forgive yourself and learn from your experiences. Things happen for a reason. If you examine your situation with honesty you can grow and change in positive ways.

2. Where do you want to go?

Look to your future. How do you want to live? Picture yourself somewhere 5 or 10 years from now in some situation that is making you laugh. Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? Take some time and really think about where you want to be and what you want to do in your future. What picture comes to mind? How does it feel, smell, sound? Is this really what you want or are there things that you want to improve? Let your imagination and your heart lead you.

At the beginning of my separation, it was painful to picture what had been, at least in my imagination, my future. I felt my ex-husband had cut me out of the picture of our planned future and photo-shopped another face over mine. Those were our future plans! I was to be the one sitting in that chair, with that glass of wine and laughing at that particular place. Who is that other woman and why is she in my chair? That wasn’t how it was meant to be at all! I was very angry and deeply hurt. Eventually, I realized that these were his dreams that I had bought into. After 20 years together I had forgotten my own dreams and goals. I had put them aside for the success of my partner and family. I realized I never really like what had been our shared plan for our future. I liked the wine and the laughter but I wanted more. I wanted a healthy relationship with a partner I could count on. I wanted to be somewhere more exotic, like at a café in Paris. I began to remember what I authentically enjoy in life, and my own dreams started to resurface. I set my intentions for my future, became very focused on what I wanted and started taking small steps to get where I wanted to go.

It looks something like this!

 

3. Have you got a map?

Now that you know where you are and where you are going you need a map or plan. How do you get from where you are to where you want to be? You need to start with small changes that will add up over time to big changes. Take your time, enjoy the journey and feel the satisfaction as the small changes begin to create positive momentum. As you start to head in the right direction the journey becomes pleasant and very satisfying.

In life the only thing you can count on is CHANGE. Change happens continually no matter how much we avoid or resist it. You may as well embrace the change and guide it as best you can to create what you want! Get excited about the possibilities! The world is waiting for you!

By the way – once you do achieve your goals, you can pick new ones. Continue riding the wave of change and enjoy the journey!

Thanks for your time! If you are going through a divorce, separation or just a difficult time I hope you find my ideas helpful. Remember you are not alone! If you or someone you know would like help with the journey please visit my website or contact me.

I do offer a strategy session.

Warm regards,

Pam

Pam Mirehouse
The Divorce Coach in Dundas