Blog - The Separation Project

6 Tips to Manage the Holidays Better during Separation and Divorce

Posted on December 20, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 0 Comments

One of the hardest things about separation and divorce, is all the memories and emotions that come up during all our special holiday celebrations as our holiday traditions change. The first Christmas, or if you do not celebrate Christmas – whatever you do celebrate, without your full extended family, is probably one of the most difficult times in the first…

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How to say “Yes” to yourself by saying “No”

Posted on November 16, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 0 Comments

“No” is a complete sentence. When was the last time you said “YES” to yourself by saying “No”? Often as I work with people going through a separation, I am amazed at what their marriages have cost them. (I am not referring to finances, which is probably what comes to mind first when we think of a marriage breakdown. Or…

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Happiness is an Inside Job

Posted on October 18, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 0 Comments

Many years before I separated, fairly early on in my marriage, I was told emphatically by a helpful professional: “You are NOT responsible for your partner’s happiness. They are 100% responsible for their own happiness and unhappiness. It has nothing to do with you.” I felt such an amazing flood of relief. I remember crying very hard, full on messy…

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Who is Responsible for How You Feel?

Posted on September 20, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 2 Comments

Often, a separation or divorce brings up some very difficult to manage emotions. We usually blame our ex-partners for all our difficult hurt feelings. It must be their fault that you feel sad, mad, bad or even glad. May I suggest that your feelings are actually much more under your control than you realize? Emotions are your choice. Difficult feelings will not completely disappear,…

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Blue Skies Ahead! Separation and Divorce Seminar and Support Group

Rebuilding Your Life After Separation and Divorce

Posted on August 16, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 4 Comments

My sleep was fretful. My appetite was non-existent. I lost over 30 pounds and felt sick most of the time. I got compliments on how “great” I looked. “Thanks,” my ‘happy mask’ said. Everyone wanted to know my weight loss secret! I would not say it was unrelenting STRESS! No one knew what I was going through during our “marital…

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7 Ideas about the Intense Emotions Felt during Separation and Divorce.

Posted on July 19, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 2 Comments

The emotions usually felt during separation and divorce do follow a pattern. You are not alone. Many others have gone through similar emotional journeys. You, and others in your family, although you are on the same journey, will probably be at very different places and feeling very different emotions. The stages and feelings will be similar but the start and…

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Emotional Hijacking During Separation and Divorce Explained

Posted on June 21, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 6 Comments

Good decision making during separation and divorce is often hijacked by strong, out of control and overwhelming emotional reactions. Just when you need your logic, creativity and problem-solving skills the most, your thinking brain shuts down, and you become very reactive and unable to think straight. This emotional response to perceived danger is due to the fight or flight response. I…

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How Divorce Coaching Can Save You Big Money

Posted on May 17, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 0 Comments

I passionately believe that hiring me as your Divorce Coach can actually save you money – big money! I often find people resistant to paying for specialized professional services during their separation and divorce, because they feel that the legal costs are already overwhelming them. There are some very helpful divorce specialists that can save you money in the long-run,…

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The Emotional Journey Through Separation and Divorce – What Should YOU Expect?

Posted on April 19, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 2 Comments

The emotions you experience during a marriage breakup are usually gut-wrenching and much more difficult to navigate than you expect. Nothing can really prepare you for the intensity of your feelings or the length of time your emotions will be hard to handle. I have found that knowing what to expect and knowing you will get to a better place are…

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Change During Separation and Divorce – 6 Ideas on Why Change is so Hard and How to Best Cope

Posted on March 22, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 8 Comments

Why is change so difficult and overwhelming during separation and divorce? The extent of the change is usually massive and it may impact all areas of your life. The speed of making the changes is often very fast and there is little time for adjusting, preparation or proper planning. The emotional upheaval during separation and divorce may make decision-making and…

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Valentine’s Day – Let’s celebrate ourselves by examining three different but important types of self-care!

Posted on February 14, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 4 Comments

Valentine’s Day is a great time to celebrate yourself, wherever you are on your self-care journey. There are, as I see it, three different varieties of self-care. Please look at all three types below and the questions I would like you to ask yourself about for each type. I want to emphasize that self-care is just that – self-care. If…

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Divorce – The truth about what it really is.

Posted on January 18, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 4 Comments

Divorce – what does the word divorce really mean? The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as “the action or an instance of legally dissolving a marriage” (Merriam Webster, 2017). Divorce does indeed involve the legal action of “dissolving a marriage” but there are many other things involved in the process that adds to the difficulty we have going through a divorce. All divorces have three…

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