Blog - The Separation Project

The 7 Big Mistakes That Sabotage Separation & Divorce Negotiations

Posted on August 8, 2019 by Pam Mirehouse | 8 Comments

When most people start divorce negotiations, they usually have little or no experience with the process. Understanding some common mistakes and how they can impact your own divorce process may help you make better decisions and speed up the negotiations. The top mistakes commonly made when negotiating a divorce: WANTING REVENGE: The cause of divorce has no bearing on the…

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Separation Mistake #4: Avoiding Difficult Conversations

Posted on May 16, 2019 by webmistress | 0 Comments

One far too common mistake I see is avoiding the sensitive relationship conversations because these dialogues are ‘too difficult’. Why is it that we end up hurting our most important relationships by developing unhealthy communication habits and habitual ways of silencing the discussion, and shutting each other down? Poor communication, or worse, silent avoidance when critical issues arise, often leads to disconnection. Your…

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Separation Mistake #3: Giving all Your Power Away to Your Now Ex-Partner

Posted on April 18, 2019 by Pam Mirehouse | 0 Comments

Often in a separation, especially at the start of a breakup, you give away all of your own power by focusing on your ex and everything that they appear to be doing to hurt you and ruin your life. You cannot believe what your ex did. You repeat your messy divorce story over and over. You cannot accept what your…

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Separation Mistake #2: Not being your ‘BEST-SELF’

Posted on March 21, 2019 by Pam Mirehouse | 0 Comments

Sometimes in a separation, early on, we play the victim and throw a big pity party. We whine. We complain. We behave in ways we often regret when we are not being our best. We blame. We take everything personally. We rant. We rave. We get emotional. We over-react. We react without thought. Have you ever played the victim? I…

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Separation & Divorce Mistake #1: Not Making Your Own Self-Care a Priority

Posted on February 15, 2019 by Pam Mirehouse | 4 Comments

Often in separation, especially at the start of a breakup, people stop looking after themselves. Are you guilty of any of these things? You worry about what others think so you pretend things are “fine” despite not feeling fine at all. You attempt to control things that you have no control over like other people. You power through, like the…

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New Year – Need New Divorce Goals?

Posted on January 24, 2019 by Pam Mirehouse | 1 Comments

So another year has come and gone! How will this fresh new year unfold for you? Have you made some goals about how you want to show up during your divorce? I know no one can choose how their divorce will be – there are too many moving parts during a separation and divorce. You can, however, choose how you think…

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6 Tips to Manage Holiday Traditions Better during Separation and Divorce

Posted on December 20, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 0 Comments

One of the hardest things about separation and divorce is all the memories and emotions that come up during all our special holiday celebrations as our holiday traditions change. The first Christmas, or if you do not celebrate Christmas – whatever you do celebrate, without your full extended family, is probably one of the most difficult times in the first…

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How to say “Yes” to yourself by saying “No”

Posted on November 16, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 0 Comments

“No” is a complete sentence. When was the last time you said “YES” to yourself by saying “No”? Often as I work with people going through a separation, I am amazed at what their marriages have cost them. (I am not referring to finances, which is probably what comes to mind first when we think of a marriage breakdown. Or…

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Happiness is an Inside Job

Posted on October 18, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 0 Comments

Many years before I separated, fairly early on in my marriage, I was told emphatically by a helpful professional: “You are NOT responsible for your partner’s happiness. They are 100% responsible for their own happiness and unhappiness. It has nothing to do with you.” I felt such an amazing flood of relief. I remember crying very hard, full-on messy sobbing….

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Who is Responsible for How You Feel?

Posted on September 20, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 2 Comments

Often, a separation or divorce brings up some very difficult to manage emotions. We usually blame our ex-partners for all our difficult hurt feelings. It must be their fault that you feel sad, mad, bad or even glad. May I suggest that your feelings are actually much more under your control than you realize? Emotions are your choice. Difficult feelings will not completely disappear,…

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Blue Skies Ahead! Separation and Divorce Seminar and Support Group

Rebuilding Your Life After Separation and Divorce

Posted on August 16, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 4 Comments

My sleep was fretful. My appetite was non-existent. I lost over 30 pounds and felt sick most of the time. I got compliments on how “great” I looked. “Thanks,” my ‘happy mask’ said. Everyone wanted to know my weight loss secret! I would not say it was unrelenting STRESS! No one knew what I was going through during our “marital…

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7 Ideas about the Intense Emotions Felt during Separation and Divorce.

Posted on July 19, 2018 by Pam Mirehouse | 2 Comments

The emotions usually felt during separation and divorce do follow a pattern. You are not alone. Many others have gone through similar emotional journeys. You, and others in your family, although you are on the same journey, will probably be at very different places and feeling very different emotions. The stages and feelings will be similar but the start and…

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