Last month I defined scarcity and abundance and demonstrated how the two mindsets may have a massive impact on separation and divorce by using some yummy pie scenarios. You can find the post here.
Now that the advantages of an abundant mindset are clear, how do you encourage your own abundant thinking to increase? Below are nine simple ideas to remember as you work on your mindset. It does take practice!
Being aware of the existence of both scarcity and abundant thinking and how it affects us is the first step of changing your own beliefs. Start noticing where abundance and scarcity show up in your day-to-day life. Where is it absent?
Open yourself up to thinking about positive possibilities! What are your closely held beliefs? Are your beliefs based on what is true? Keep checking in on how you are thinking and try to shift towards abundance. There is always something good that comes out of every situation, even if it’s just a difficult lesson.
Knowing you control your thoughts and reactions and changing how you think about things can profoundly change how you feel about things. Change how you view a situation and the emotions that appear will shift to match your perspective.
Are friends and family filling your ears with scarcity? Sometimes scarcity is what you’re hearing from others, and pointing this out may help them change their scarcity thinking habits too! If they won’t stop the scarcity banter, you may need to minimize time spent with energy-draining friends or find some uplifting people to spend time with instead.
Listen to the words you are choosing. What are you saying to yourself? Is your habitual self-talk nasty? If it is, try talking thoughtfully to yourself like you would to a child or good friend you are trying to support. It not only feels much better, but the payoff is profound for your self-esteem. Become your own best friend! Negative self-talk is such an important habit to break!
How are you speaking to others? Are you speaking to others like you want to be spoken to? This is especially important when you speak to children. Encourage positive conversations and seek to uplift. Talk to yourself and your friends with love, respect, and encouragement.
Are you acting like you have enough? Can you be generous with what you do have? Feeling abundant and still able to give during difficult times is very fulfilling and can feel very good for the soul! It is a great example to set for others and truly there is always something we can give to those that are less fortunate.
Are you taking small steps to create what you do want in your life? Small steps made with a well thought out plan of action can add up to truly massive accomplishments.
7. Being Grateful:
One of the best ways to improve abundant thinking is simply being grateful for everything you do have. A truly wealthy person is someone that is happy with what they have.
I wrote an entire blog post on gratitude that you can find here.
Set up a reminder or touchstone, to remind yourself to keep bringing your thoughts back to abundance whenever possible. This habit comes with repeated practice. I used to carry a quarter in my pocket with a red heart painted on it. Every time I felt it in my pocket, it brought abundance and gratitude to mind. Every night as I took it out of my pocket, and every morning as I replaced it, I thought about how fortunate I was during my separation despite the situation. Your reminder could be a picture you see every day where you pause to reflect or something you set somewhere to remind yourself how thankful you are for everything good in your life.
I also want to say that abundance wins every time, even if your ex-partner is locked into scarcity and is not interested in negotiating towards a fair settlement or being reasonable. Thinking abundantly and not responding with scarcity will let you feel better during the process and may make it easier to negotiate something that is fair. Just keep repeating that you want what is fair and have a good explanation of what fair looks like and why it is in fact fair. Of course, this only works if your solution is fair to everyone involved. Court settlements do take into account if you have been trying to be reasonable and reward good behaviour during negotiations.
You may also be interested in part 3 of my Abundance blogs:
If you are thinking about separating or already in the thick of it, an abundant mindset and some planning can improve your separation and divorce process! I can help you find your abundance and the best path through to healing.
Please contact me.
I do offer a strategy session.
The Divorce Coach in Dundas